I’m by no means the only person, or even pundit, who sometimes (often) feels that centrists are the craziest people in our political life. Liberals these days rarely stake out really extreme positions (more on that in a minute); conservatives may denounce Obama as a Muslim atheist communist, but at least they know what they want. The really strange people are those who insist that there is symmetry between left and right, that both are equally far out and equally at fault for polarization, and make up all kinds of strange stories to justify this claim.
Barack Obama is, of course, the biggest target of these delusions; it’s really amazing to see pundits accuse him of being chiefly to blame for Republican scorched-earth opposition — you see, he should have used his mystic powers of persuasion to bring them into the tent.
oh, hey guys, the police were really nice to protesters in Ferguson last night.
like, they didn’t even shoot anybody or anything.
WHEW. i was getting really worried there for a minute.
THE RACISMS IS OFFICIALLY OVER!!!!!!!
For a putz 20-year-old kid to say, ‘I’m depressed. I live in Seattle.’ Fuck you, then kill yourself. I never understand, because I always call them on their bluff. I’m the guy who says ‘Jump’ when there’s a guy on top of a building who says, ‘That’s it, I can’t take it anymore. I’m going to jump.’ Are you kidding? Why are you announcing it? Shut the fuck up, have some dignity and jump! You’ve got the crowd. By the way, you walk up to the same guy on a ledge who threatens to jump and put a gun to his head, ‘I’m going to blow your fuckin’ head off.’ He’ll go, ‘Please don’t.’ It’s true. He’s not that insane.
I don’t see much of a future for this planet. I think it’s a cursed planet. The boundaries we’ve drawn between nations and the profit motive - those two factors - have, in my opinion, brought us to the point where almost nothing can stop the utter destruction of the environment and all our earthly life-support systems. Perhaps after a holocaust, the survivors can rebuild on a more spiritual level. … Man in his finest state is a curious and investigative creature capable of the magic of creativity.
People become performers for many reasons. Some do it to get a lot of pussy - and that’s a good reason. Some want a bigger car. Other guys want to travel. My reason has always been that I was screaming to let all this shit out of me.
If I had lived in Babylonian times, I probably would have chiseled my jokes in stone tablets and dragged them from house to house. In the Middle Ages, I’d have been that odd fellow standing in the middle of the square, telling stories. The townspeople would pass and say, ‘Every Friday he comes in and talks for an hour. We don’t know why.’ I would have loved that.
[S]ex is important to me. I just never lead with my dick.